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wnylibrarian's picture

It's Been A While

When I started writing this blog it was my intention of two things: 1) I would have no deadlines, and 2) I would write on a semi-regular basis. None of which I have done, but that has more to do with life than anything else.
My intention to stay away from strict deadlines is, because, this is not a job, it is meant as a creative outlet for myself. I can't write for the sake of writing -- I can only write when I have something to say or share. Which brings us to this post.
I haven't been writing at all because of life. Looking back there's no other reason. Mom passed away some twenty months ago, and that meant for me to step in and fill that void becoming my Dad's caretaker -- or administrative assistant. Take your choice. Given my Dad was in his late 80s I made sure to coordinate all of his doctor's appointments and medical procedures, and I did so with no hesitation. However, between coordinating my Father's doctors, my own doctor appointments, my own previous commitments and throw in a full-time job on top of everything, some things do not get attended to like they normally would. This blog is one of them.
Make no mistake. Being a full-time caretaker for someone soaks up a lot, if not all, of your time. That being said I would do it all over again. It is my Father after all. The man who taught me to golf and fish, throw a baseball, and all that Dad stuff that only dads can execute with perfection.
All things end, however, and unfortunately life has dealt me another significant change. My Father passed away, somewhat unexpectedly, but he had been battling an advancing illness over these several months, in the early hours of January 22. I was with him and held his hand and I told him it was okay when he slipped away. No one wants to see someone they love suffer, and in full transparency the last couple of days leading up to Dad's passing were not ideal. I am only thankful it was brief -- if two days can be brief.
This does open up a new chapter for me. I have no idea what it means. When you're used to being the central hub coordinating the logistics on several fronts and then are suddenly relieved of those duties there's a sense of confusion. Maybe this means I'll have an opportunity to write more? I won't make the commitment, however. Life is still life, and you never know when it'll throw you curve balls.